From: Joe

Subject: Am I Overreacting for Feeling Hurt After My Wife Refused to Host a Birthday Party for Me?

Summary: I asked my wife, Sarah (29F), to help organize a small 30th birthday party for me—just close friends and family. She dismissed me, saying, “I’m not your party planner. Do it yourself.” I was hurt but let it go, assuming work stress was the issue.

A week later, I found out she was meticulously planning a lavish party for her boss. When I confronted her, she broke down, saying it was for a potential promotion and she couldn’t afford to mess it up. I tried explaining that my disappointment wasn’t just about the party but what it said about her priorities. Her response was that I was being selfish and didn’t understand the pressure she was under.

On my birthday, she gave me a store-bought cupcake as a ‘peace offering,’ while her boss’s party was a huge success. Friends and family have started asking why I didn’t celebrate, leaving me embarrassed and questioning my place in her life.

Am I justified in feeling like an afterthought in my own marriage, or should I have been more understanding of her work situation?