Summary: My 21-year-old stepdaughter treats our home like a hotel! She’s rarely here, but when she is, it’s just to crash in her old room. I needed the space, so I turned it into a gym. She went ballistic! Later, my daughter called, sobbing. My husband had gone to her place with a sinister plan.

Details: My stepdaughter, 21, still lives at home, though she’s rarely here. Between college and her boyfriend, she only crashes in her old room a couple nights a week. I needed that space for my daily workouts (I’m a retired fitness instructor), so I cleared out her things and turned it into a small gym. When she finally noticed, she flew into a rage, screaming. “You had no right! This is my space!” I retorted, “My house, my rules!” and slammed the door in her face. Later that night, my daughter Amelia, 30, called me, sobbing hysterically. “Mom, you have to come over. He destroyed everything. I rushed to her house and gasped. The living room was a disaster zone. Her beautiful antique fumiture – a wedding gift from us just a year ago-was smashed to pieces. Splintered wood, ripped upholstery, stuffing everywhere. My husband stood in the middle of the wreckage, chest heaving. “Tell your mother,” he snarled, “My money, my rules!” Apparently, he’d stormed over there with a crowbar after my stepdaughter called him, ranting about how I’d “disrespected” her He’d taken his anger out on Amelia’s precious heirlooms, furniture he himself had paid for I’m shaking, sick to my stomach. This isn’t just petty anymore. This is violent, destructive, terrifying. All I wanted was a little space for myself, and he’s turned our family’s lives into a war zone. Do you think I should have acted differently?

Eleanor